I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
