my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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