im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
