I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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