I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
