I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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