She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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