I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
