haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize