What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
