I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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