He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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