if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
