i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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