can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
