At least make sure they are 18
Why
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize