yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
