11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pants are for mortals
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
