Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
