i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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