I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
