Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
