She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
