you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
