Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
