Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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