Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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