I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
