Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
