Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
