Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he was CRYING into my vagina
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
