maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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