It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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