im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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