about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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