I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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