awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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