Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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