I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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