i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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