hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize