I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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