Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
