The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
