Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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