I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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