Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
