Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't turn off my feet"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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