I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I need a beard to bite.
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