And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
