I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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