It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize