a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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