just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
