I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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