if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
