I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
