Me too!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
