The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
