I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
