I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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