Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
