so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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