Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
